Why now? After 5 decades of protecting those from childhood I held dearest, on 9-5-18, I corresponded with my mother. Those forthright words were specifically detailed. Nothing I have done has been in the dark. To further exact credibility , after returning home after the events in Prescott Az, (the main location took place in The Wheel In hotel/motel), I was put on amitriptyline. I was 5 years old. My hand to God, every word I speak and every word I say is forthright and the truth. I was born into this family, they made me and now I am a WARRIOR. So, buckle up buttercup, here we go now.
Up to last Friday I was still actively pursuing my family to stop the secrecy and work towards healing. For ourselves and others.
All of these efforts began when I was attempting to put my affairs in order. On 9-24-18 , The response of my father, Richard C. Carothers, was "Why don't you just go fuck yourself ?". His sister, Nancy Carothers Rivers chose to attack, and mimicking my pain, sent a picture of Halloween donuts with monster faces. She also attacked me. Both of those responses have made protecting their identities a mute point. Accountability for their actions and the echoes of past acts now hold them accountable. My Grandmother Loraine is forgiven. She begged forgiveness many times verbally and in letters. It was in one such letter that she made me aware that both she and Nancy talked about each of the men who terrorized me. She broke both rules. No secrets, No torture.
I only asked for two things in order to find healing. No more secrets and No more torture. I begged for a combined effort in the war of sexual crimes against children. The thing that no one else will say? My father is not Dicks biological son. Grand ran off with a boot salesman who abandoned her once he found out she was pregnant. It is one reason sick, Richard Carothers, the man he was named after beat him so savagely. And his sister Nancy? She has known and kept the secret for at least 35 years. I have known for over 20 years. Now there are no more secrets, except for the ones I chose to keep in the protection of those who have trusted me. And no one has the power to torture me anymore. So, you now have a clear idea of why these specific individuals no longer deserve nor want my protection. Just as she knew Richard, aka dick was a PEDIPHILE and RAPIST, my Aunt, Nancy Carothers Rivers, chose and continues to choose herself. Unapologeticly. And, for awhile I allowed her to fool me. Or she thought I did. Then she revealed her toxic unapologetic godforsaken self. Proven in Grands own writing, and from Nancy's own mouth. If they thought I would stay broken, they were wrong. And, I am now healing. I am strong with the full support of the men who love me. In my experience, it is not wise to be weak in the Carothers family. The echoes of times past were in keeping with their responses.
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